“for what is evil but good tortured by its own hunger and thirst? verily when good is hungry it seeks food even in dark caves, and when it thirsts it drinks even of dead waters.” - kahlil gibran
evil is an illusion. by that I do not mean that evil is not a reality in our world. illusions are real, though they are not true. an example - i am lost in the desert and see a mirage; the mirage is real yet the reality I perceive is not true. evil is essentially a lie, that is something not true - an illusion. sin is believing the lie and what follows naturally from that belief is living in the lie. the lie is that there is no God, no purpose, no hope - life is only futility. once we start to believe the lie fear takes over. thus pride comes, the first born of fear, and the progenitor of all that is oppressive and divisive in our world; “i" becomes the center of the universe from which all greed and malice flows from the human heart and infects the world.
let me give a more concrete historical example of what i mean. apartheid was the policy of the south african government for decades. apartheid was based on a lie, that is the lie that one race is superior to another. that one lie gave birth to a whole system of oppression and violence. evil replaced the truth with a lie and that illusion created a very real world of suffering.
essentially evil is the lie that tells us we are not good, not worthy of human dignity or respect. “and God saw everything that was created, and behold it was very good.” (Genesis 1:31) or in the words of Desmond Tutu evil is the lie that “tells a child of God that they are not a child of God.” without hope or purpose we live in fear; feeling lost and alone we seek affirmation of ourselves within ourselves, and so our hunger for the light only finds darkness, and our thirst for communion is drowned in the dead waters of self-centeredness.
the illusion of evil (that which is false) can only be overcome by the truth. coming to know the truth in a world full of evil is not always easy. the lies that society drums into our heads (racism, sexism, homophobia, etc.) are hard to dislodge and often difficult for us to recognize as living within us. the lies we tell ourselves (grandiosity, arrogance, lust, etc.) are equally difficult to recognize and dislodge. often our personal lies are deeply intertwined in our social lies, one feeding off and re-enforcing the other. but we are not lost, there is true and real hope for us to be free.
in the gospel of john we are told that Jesus "is the Lamb of God that takes away the sin of the world". sin is believing the lie and Jesus takes it away by shining forth the truth of God. we are not lost and alone, God is ever-present calling us to turn from the lie and to live in Him. God loves the whole of creation and does not abandon us to our illusions, "indeed God did not send the Son into the world to condemn it but in order that the world be healed through Him." by living in Christ we are freed from the power of the illusion. the more we turn from the lie of self-centeredness toward the truth of God's love manifest in the person of Jesus Christ the more sane living becomes possible in a crazy world. for what is sane living but to be free to be who we are - children of God - called to love and live in harmony with all so that the truth and beauty of God will shine through God's creation, for "what has come into being in Him is life, and the life is the light of all people."
©2010 halley low
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
an ecological litany
preface
below is a christian prayer for individual or group devotion. the focus is on thanking God for the gift of creation (of which we are a part), and a recognition of our personal/collective ecological sins, with a call for repentance and Divine aid. i wrote this litany for a recent ecumenical ecological prayer service entitled "whose earth is it anyway: a prayerful response" which was a follow up to a presentation i gave on the biblical theology of ecology by the same name. anyone interested in having me come to your church or organization to give the presentation "whose earth is it anyway:a biblical theology of ecology" please email me. as is usual with litanies it is formatted in a call and response style (V stands for verse and R for response). when recited with intention i think it is a powerful prayer. may we walk together with God and one another in loving reconciliation, amen.
an ecological litany
V: Lord God, Maker of heaven and earth, we marvel at the wonder of Your works giving glory to Your Holy Name. Truly You are Father of all, we thank you for Your enduring love, which like a mother holding her child to her breast gives life and nourishment to the whole of Your creation.
R: Thank you God for the gift of life, and the gift of this earth, and the gift of Your abiding Presence.
V: Lord, we remember our sins against You and Your earth.
R: Lord have mercy, and heal our broken ways.
V: Lord, we admit our forgetfulness in our duty to care for Your creation.
R: Lord have mercy, and heal us Your broken image.
V: Lord, for all the times we have put our selfish pursuits before the good of the whole.
R: Lord have mercy, and heal our broken souls.
V: Lord, we remember those who are hungry and homeless, both human and animal, because of our greed and wantonness.
R: Lord have mercy, and heal our broken priorities.
V: Lord, for the times we have turned from Your call and hardened our hearts of stone.
R: Lord have mercy, and heal our broken hearts of stone.
V: We come before you in sorrow for our sins, in gratitude for your compassion, and in hope for new life, through Your love poured out upon the earth in the person of Jesus Christ.
R: renewing our commitment to love and serve You by loving and serving one another and the whole of Your creation, for Your glory and our salvation; we ask this in the name of Jesus our Lord and Savior and by the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
copyright halley low 2010
below is a christian prayer for individual or group devotion. the focus is on thanking God for the gift of creation (of which we are a part), and a recognition of our personal/collective ecological sins, with a call for repentance and Divine aid. i wrote this litany for a recent ecumenical ecological prayer service entitled "whose earth is it anyway: a prayerful response" which was a follow up to a presentation i gave on the biblical theology of ecology by the same name. anyone interested in having me come to your church or organization to give the presentation "whose earth is it anyway:a biblical theology of ecology" please email me. as is usual with litanies it is formatted in a call and response style (V stands for verse and R for response). when recited with intention i think it is a powerful prayer. may we walk together with God and one another in loving reconciliation, amen.
an ecological litany
V: Lord God, Maker of heaven and earth, we marvel at the wonder of Your works giving glory to Your Holy Name. Truly You are Father of all, we thank you for Your enduring love, which like a mother holding her child to her breast gives life and nourishment to the whole of Your creation.
R: Thank you God for the gift of life, and the gift of this earth, and the gift of Your abiding Presence.
V: Lord, we remember our sins against You and Your earth.
R: Lord have mercy, and heal our broken ways.
V: Lord, we admit our forgetfulness in our duty to care for Your creation.
R: Lord have mercy, and heal us Your broken image.
V: Lord, for all the times we have put our selfish pursuits before the good of the whole.
R: Lord have mercy, and heal our broken souls.
V: Lord, we remember those who are hungry and homeless, both human and animal, because of our greed and wantonness.
R: Lord have mercy, and heal our broken priorities.
V: Lord, for the times we have turned from Your call and hardened our hearts of stone.
R: Lord have mercy, and heal our broken hearts of stone.
V: We come before you in sorrow for our sins, in gratitude for your compassion, and in hope for new life, through Your love poured out upon the earth in the person of Jesus Christ.
R: renewing our commitment to love and serve You by loving and serving one another and the whole of Your creation, for Your glory and our salvation; we ask this in the name of Jesus our Lord and Savior and by the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
copyright halley low 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
the joy of coffee
i love coffee in the morning. the aroma of coffee brewing invites me out of bed. i savor the first sip, in an instant i am awake, and by the end of the cup i'm ready for action. so i got to thinking about coffee and how it makes a good metaphor for life.
every morning when my eyes first open i am invited by life to enter a new day. i savor those quiet moments of early morning. by the end of that time i am ready for action. but the metaphor goes deeper.
life, like coffee, can be rich and deep in flavor. just as at times it can be bitter, even burnt. life, like coffee, can be sweetened, only the sugar of life comes from the depth of our relationships. if life gets too heavy we can lighten it up with a little cream, that is the cream of prayer, or the half & half of laughter, or the milk of human kindness. and sometimes when the world is too much with us life can become jittery, yet in those jittery moments life can also offer us calm by opening opportunities for solitude and communion.
life always invites us to go deeper, kind of like how sharing coffee with friends can open us to deeper conversations. it's no wonder that God beckons us to always "choose life" (deuteronnomy 30:19). which brings me to another comparison, life like coffee is a gift from God; savor the gift in gratitude, and share it in love.
©2010 halley low
every morning when my eyes first open i am invited by life to enter a new day. i savor those quiet moments of early morning. by the end of that time i am ready for action. but the metaphor goes deeper.
life, like coffee, can be rich and deep in flavor. just as at times it can be bitter, even burnt. life, like coffee, can be sweetened, only the sugar of life comes from the depth of our relationships. if life gets too heavy we can lighten it up with a little cream, that is the cream of prayer, or the half & half of laughter, or the milk of human kindness. and sometimes when the world is too much with us life can become jittery, yet in those jittery moments life can also offer us calm by opening opportunities for solitude and communion.
life always invites us to go deeper, kind of like how sharing coffee with friends can open us to deeper conversations. it's no wonder that God beckons us to always "choose life" (deuteronnomy 30:19). which brings me to another comparison, life like coffee is a gift from God; savor the gift in gratitude, and share it in love.
©2010 halley low
Thursday, May 6, 2010
what i feel is not who i am
as human beings we are subject to a vast array of feelings. often our feelings are not completely under our conscious control. at one moment i may be perfectly happy as i am walking down the street in the bright sunlight. then suddenly that feeling may give way to a somber moment, and i may sink down into sadness. a moment later i may realize that i was just feeling happy as a lark and wonder to myself "why am i sad now".
feelings are like a compass, pointing us to what's going on inside us. feelings aren't good or bad in a moral sense, but they are subject to change, often without apparent cause or reason, and that is, for the most part, perfectly normal. if we are willing to ponder a little deeper usually we can gain understanding for the shift in mood. other times it may remain a mystery, and we might decide to consciously change gears to a more upbeat emotion (if possible), or allow the flood of negative feeling to wash over and take us to a place we need to be in that moment.
what's really important is to try to remember that whatever one is feeling at any given point in time is just that -- what you are feeling, and is not the defining factor of who you are. just because you are feeling bad doesn't make you bad anymore then feeling good makes you good. they are all just feelings, they have a purpose, or at least a cause, which the feeling itself may be trying to get one in touch with.
whatever the case, to borrow a popular line from the 12 step programs, "feelings aren't facts". that is a really important point to remember, because sometimes when we confuse our feelings for facts we can get really messed up thinking our feelings are who we are. feelings come and go, they can change as often, and suddenly, as some adolescent girls change their hairstyles. who we really are, on the deepest and truest level, never changes. because at the core we are all human beings equal to one another in dignity, and that is because the core of our being rests in the fact that we are all children of the one and same God. that is the fact of our existence. our feelings open us to exploring the fact of who we are, and experiencing the full range of expression that is real life, but our feelings don't define who we are.
sometimes when we are feeling "down" we might start putting ourselves "down", remembering who we really are can put things back in proper perspective. likewise, if we are caught up in very "high" feelings we may get a bit "puffed up", and again remembering the fact of who we really are can help us come down off our "high horse". feelings are an important way of getting in touch with where we are at and where we are going. however, they should never be allowed to dictate our sense of worth, because our worth is rooted in the fact of who we are, not what we feel. separating fact from feeling is a useful way to saner and more truthful living.
feelings are like a compass, pointing us to what's going on inside us. feelings aren't good or bad in a moral sense, but they are subject to change, often without apparent cause or reason, and that is, for the most part, perfectly normal. if we are willing to ponder a little deeper usually we can gain understanding for the shift in mood. other times it may remain a mystery, and we might decide to consciously change gears to a more upbeat emotion (if possible), or allow the flood of negative feeling to wash over and take us to a place we need to be in that moment.
what's really important is to try to remember that whatever one is feeling at any given point in time is just that -- what you are feeling, and is not the defining factor of who you are. just because you are feeling bad doesn't make you bad anymore then feeling good makes you good. they are all just feelings, they have a purpose, or at least a cause, which the feeling itself may be trying to get one in touch with.
whatever the case, to borrow a popular line from the 12 step programs, "feelings aren't facts". that is a really important point to remember, because sometimes when we confuse our feelings for facts we can get really messed up thinking our feelings are who we are. feelings come and go, they can change as often, and suddenly, as some adolescent girls change their hairstyles. who we really are, on the deepest and truest level, never changes. because at the core we are all human beings equal to one another in dignity, and that is because the core of our being rests in the fact that we are all children of the one and same God. that is the fact of our existence. our feelings open us to exploring the fact of who we are, and experiencing the full range of expression that is real life, but our feelings don't define who we are.
sometimes when we are feeling "down" we might start putting ourselves "down", remembering who we really are can put things back in proper perspective. likewise, if we are caught up in very "high" feelings we may get a bit "puffed up", and again remembering the fact of who we really are can help us come down off our "high horse". feelings are an important way of getting in touch with where we are at and where we are going. however, they should never be allowed to dictate our sense of worth, because our worth is rooted in the fact of who we are, not what we feel. separating fact from feeling is a useful way to saner and more truthful living.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
places i have been, places i am going too...
they say "home is where the heart is", and as one who has done my share of moving over the years, i can attest to the truth of that statement. nevertheless, moving to a new locale is always an encounter with loss and anticipation.
living in one place for a while means having built connections and collected memories. for instance, now that i face yet another move, i think about the harbor park where i walk my dog every morning. i treasure those quiet moments: the cool bay breeze, the tree lined paths, the sea gulls and variety of other water fowl. i have also enjoyed the occasional late afternoon saunter down to the harbor, sitting by the water to read or pray. i have developed a connection to that park, and have collected many fond memories.
and while i am experiencing this sense of loss -- this mild anxiety about the closing of yet another chapter of my life, i also feel the anxiety of anticipation, wondering what lies ahead. i am at once excited and apprehensive about discovering a whole new world populated with people i have yet to know, and places i have yet to explore. weighing the trade off of beaches for waterfalls; the familiar southern horizon of sun and sky now to be dominated by hazy blue mountains; the spacious house i presently dwell in to be replaced by a three bedroom apartment, the dimensions of which i have yet to even see.
of course there is the loss of people i have come to know during my daily walks along main street, the parishioners with whom i have developed a particularly special bond, as well as long established friendships which will undoubtedly endure. yet the immediacy of physical presence will give way to the immediacy of telephone and internet. not knowing a soul where i am going, nor sure of how i will be received, also adds to the tension of loss and anticipation.
but in all this i do know the essential truth of the opening statement - "home is where the heart is". home isn't a place, not a house, not a town. home is the sense of rootedness in my origins, the feeling of centeredness within my own person, and the knowledge of the love of God which keeps me sane and secure throughout the ever-shifting sands of time. though the sense of loss and the anticipation of the unknown are real and present, i need not be overwhelmed or overanxious for these feelings will indeed pass as i inevitably ease into the newness. i have learned that home travels with me wherever i go. for who i was remains with me; who i am perseveres; and who i will be is a miracle waiting to unfold.
living in one place for a while means having built connections and collected memories. for instance, now that i face yet another move, i think about the harbor park where i walk my dog every morning. i treasure those quiet moments: the cool bay breeze, the tree lined paths, the sea gulls and variety of other water fowl. i have also enjoyed the occasional late afternoon saunter down to the harbor, sitting by the water to read or pray. i have developed a connection to that park, and have collected many fond memories.
and while i am experiencing this sense of loss -- this mild anxiety about the closing of yet another chapter of my life, i also feel the anxiety of anticipation, wondering what lies ahead. i am at once excited and apprehensive about discovering a whole new world populated with people i have yet to know, and places i have yet to explore. weighing the trade off of beaches for waterfalls; the familiar southern horizon of sun and sky now to be dominated by hazy blue mountains; the spacious house i presently dwell in to be replaced by a three bedroom apartment, the dimensions of which i have yet to even see.
of course there is the loss of people i have come to know during my daily walks along main street, the parishioners with whom i have developed a particularly special bond, as well as long established friendships which will undoubtedly endure. yet the immediacy of physical presence will give way to the immediacy of telephone and internet. not knowing a soul where i am going, nor sure of how i will be received, also adds to the tension of loss and anticipation.
but in all this i do know the essential truth of the opening statement - "home is where the heart is". home isn't a place, not a house, not a town. home is the sense of rootedness in my origins, the feeling of centeredness within my own person, and the knowledge of the love of God which keeps me sane and secure throughout the ever-shifting sands of time. though the sense of loss and the anticipation of the unknown are real and present, i need not be overwhelmed or overanxious for these feelings will indeed pass as i inevitably ease into the newness. i have learned that home travels with me wherever i go. for who i was remains with me; who i am perseveres; and who i will be is a miracle waiting to unfold.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
on human friendship
when you tell someone "you're my friend" you are saying to them in that same breath "you are very special to me", and that you freely choose to enter into relationship with him/her. this is why friendship is categorically different from most other relationships, and why it is so special, because it is a relationship of free will. we do not choose our parents or siblings, or our teachers or classmates or co-workers or neighbors. all those relationships are chosen by forces outside ourselves (though of course how we relate to them is our choice). but friendship is different, and is why it has been heralded by poets and wise people throughout the ages.
i do not use the term "friend" lightly. it is not a status i give to everyone i am acquainted with, but only to those whom my heart is drawn too in some special and particular way. there are different types of friends, people who are special to us and revolve around our lives but within different spheres of proximity. the outer sphere (generally where most of those we call "friend" circulate) are dear to us and we may share a lot or a little time with them, have fun with them, and share common interests. the middle sphere are our good friends, people with whom we are particularly close, share feelings and thoughts, and laugh and cry together. the immediate sphere belongs to our best friends, and generally this is a very small cluster of people, often only one or two may really circulate within this sphere. they are the ones to whom we share of our deepest self, we hold the strongest bonds of trust,we live in mutual knowledge that no matter what we are there for one another in sickness and in health, in poverty or wealth. this is the reason that spousal relationships are often described as "being in love with your best friend". and within this small sphere of best friends we find our true friend/s.
what do i mean by true friend? he or she or they are the one/s whose best friend status has been tested and deepened with time. the one who stays with us though the years, and if for some reason a lapse of communication happens, even perhaps for years, when we are reunited the joy is overwhelming and the conversation picks up as if it were only yesterday when we spoke last. a true friend is the one who often knows us better then we know ourselves, who can call us on our faults and we value their critique (even if we don't agree with it). a true friend knows us so well that he/she knows what we need before we speak it. i would like to share a story from my own life which demonstrates what i am trying to express.
when my mother died in 2005 i received phone calls from many dear and good friends. without exception each of them sincerely said to me "if there is anything you need, anything, do not hesitate to ask". though i knew in my heart they were all speaking truthfully and would most likely done what i asked of them, i could not ask them. you see what i needed at that time, more then anything, was for someone to come and spend the weekend with me, to stay by my side through all four of the visitations (afternoon and evening of the two day wake), and also be with me the day of the burial. how could i ask someone to be with me for so long a period of time, and in such a depressing situation.
of course the first person i had called when i got the news was my best friend of 20 something years, no one home when i called so i left a message on his voicemail. soon my call was returned, and before i could say anything she said to me "do you want me to come and stay with you", she knew what i needed and offered it without a request. i immediately replied "yes". she lives in the city, a good train ride from my apartment in bohemia, and came out to be with me the next day. now i should mention that my best friend never visited my place mostly because she is not fond of dogs, and i had two large and over-friendly dogs at the time. but that did not stop her from coming and sleeping on a sofa for three nights. and through all the sittings at the funeral parlor and day of the burial at the cemetery and the dinner, she was with me. it was that weekend that i came to understand the difference between a good friend and a true friend. i have thanked God everyday since for the blessing of a true friend.
and on this special day i say to her once more and publicly - "i love you. you truly are my best friend, and i would gladly die for you."
© 2010 halley low
i do not use the term "friend" lightly. it is not a status i give to everyone i am acquainted with, but only to those whom my heart is drawn too in some special and particular way. there are different types of friends, people who are special to us and revolve around our lives but within different spheres of proximity. the outer sphere (generally where most of those we call "friend" circulate) are dear to us and we may share a lot or a little time with them, have fun with them, and share common interests. the middle sphere are our good friends, people with whom we are particularly close, share feelings and thoughts, and laugh and cry together. the immediate sphere belongs to our best friends, and generally this is a very small cluster of people, often only one or two may really circulate within this sphere. they are the ones to whom we share of our deepest self, we hold the strongest bonds of trust,we live in mutual knowledge that no matter what we are there for one another in sickness and in health, in poverty or wealth. this is the reason that spousal relationships are often described as "being in love with your best friend". and within this small sphere of best friends we find our true friend/s.
what do i mean by true friend? he or she or they are the one/s whose best friend status has been tested and deepened with time. the one who stays with us though the years, and if for some reason a lapse of communication happens, even perhaps for years, when we are reunited the joy is overwhelming and the conversation picks up as if it were only yesterday when we spoke last. a true friend is the one who often knows us better then we know ourselves, who can call us on our faults and we value their critique (even if we don't agree with it). a true friend knows us so well that he/she knows what we need before we speak it. i would like to share a story from my own life which demonstrates what i am trying to express.
when my mother died in 2005 i received phone calls from many dear and good friends. without exception each of them sincerely said to me "if there is anything you need, anything, do not hesitate to ask". though i knew in my heart they were all speaking truthfully and would most likely done what i asked of them, i could not ask them. you see what i needed at that time, more then anything, was for someone to come and spend the weekend with me, to stay by my side through all four of the visitations (afternoon and evening of the two day wake), and also be with me the day of the burial. how could i ask someone to be with me for so long a period of time, and in such a depressing situation.
of course the first person i had called when i got the news was my best friend of 20 something years, no one home when i called so i left a message on his voicemail. soon my call was returned, and before i could say anything she said to me "do you want me to come and stay with you", she knew what i needed and offered it without a request. i immediately replied "yes". she lives in the city, a good train ride from my apartment in bohemia, and came out to be with me the next day. now i should mention that my best friend never visited my place mostly because she is not fond of dogs, and i had two large and over-friendly dogs at the time. but that did not stop her from coming and sleeping on a sofa for three nights. and through all the sittings at the funeral parlor and day of the burial at the cemetery and the dinner, she was with me. it was that weekend that i came to understand the difference between a good friend and a true friend. i have thanked God everyday since for the blessing of a true friend.
and on this special day i say to her once more and publicly - "i love you. you truly are my best friend, and i would gladly die for you."
© 2010 halley low
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
moments to live by
what is it about growing older that we fear so much? is it the looming reality of death, which in truth is with us from the moment of conception, but which only becomes real as we progress with the years? or is it the loss of potency, or fear of it, that makes us worry about our ability to control our lives? perhaps it is mere vanity, the fear of yet another line or wrinkle appearing on our bodies "robbing" us of the beauty of youth? or could it be the accumulation of regrets for things we have done, or for things we did not do, the season for which may have past and the somber reality that they will neither be erased or achieved? obviously the answers will be different for each of us, and depends on where we stand in the process of getting older, as our vantage point influences those answers. someone who is turning 30 will likely have a different approach then someone turning 70. but the important thing is to be willing to look at the question, to face the reality of aging in context of the point we are living in that moment.
of course we could simply deny that we are getting older and all that it may entail, but most of us know that denial is a game; and a very unproductive game at that. pretending that things are not what they are generally serves only to keep us from experiencing the reality of our lives; or simply put - to live an unauthentic life. that we age is a fact of life, how we age is our choice.
often that choice creates a "crisis" for us, the proverbial "mid-life crisis". interestingly, the "mid-life crisis" is generally not a singular experience that happens at the point we become "middle aged". in truth we experience many so-called mid-life experiences of varying intensities and durations. more importantly we can experience them at any given time in our lives. it is not uncommon for someone to go through such a crisis at 35 or 30 or even at 25 years old. if we understand that the "crisis" is not age-dependent but is part of the normal process of aging for self-reflective beings such as we are, we will not be so surprised that even teenagers can and do experience a "mid-life crisis".
essentially, a "mid-life crisis" is a moment in time that we become intensely aware that we are changing, and that change is turning our world in different directions, perhaps even spinning our world so fast we are temporarily dis-oriented. it is natural at such times to become fearful, the earth is quaking under our feet and we are shaken to our core. we question where we are going, we fear the loss of the security we once knew, we wonder what will become of us, we cry "why can't things stay as they are" or "why can't things change faster" - depending on where we are standing at that moment in the "crisis". the important thing to remember is that its a good thing to ask questions, to look at oneself and to evaluate one's priorities and dreams and actions. it's even ok to be afraid, that's normal, we wouldn't be human if we didn't experience fear in the face of mystery.
however, if fear gets the upper hand, if fear causes us to become paralyzed or withdrawn or sends us into flights of escapism (such as binge drinking, promiscuity, or any number of unhealthy avenues that divert us from the life affirming self-reflective process that we label "crisis") then we need help with our crisis. honestly even if the crisis is not manifested in extreme fear, we often need help to pass through this dark valley. it's the reason many naturally turn to God in prayer for guidance and comfort. it's the reason many seek out a friend or loved one to talk with and share feelings. it's the reason some recognize that they need to talk with their religious leader or a counselor or a spiritual director to help them navigate their feelings and thoughts.
yet if fear has gotten the upper hand that need for help is magnified. sometimes the ability to reach out for help becomes more difficult because unbridled fear is shutting down the natural process of the "crisis". if you are caught in such a state - do not despair, there are bound to be moments of clarity, (perhaps reading this little essay is serving you right now as a chance to see beyond), seize that moment and reach out for help now. God really does care about you, and there are people, even strangers who care too. reach out, call a hotline, call your doctor, go speak to a pastor, pray to God for the strength to love yourself (even if you don't believe in God), just make use of this moment of clarity to move away from fear and into life. no matter how old we are or what changes we are going through life is worth living. if you have a friend or family member whom you recognize is in such a stagnant place, be strong and reach out to him or her, and maybe if necessary reach out for him or her.
remembering that growing older is the natural flow of life, and "crisis" is an on-going reflection on the process, helps us to move on in sane and healthy ways. in surrendering one moment we are caught up in the next moment; living is a continuum of paradoxes. a wise man once wrote - "it is in giving we receive, in forgiving that we are forgiven, and in dying that we are born to new life". and so it is that the joy of living is found in acceptance of growing older and in our full participation in the dynamic process of life.
© 2010 halley low
of course we could simply deny that we are getting older and all that it may entail, but most of us know that denial is a game; and a very unproductive game at that. pretending that things are not what they are generally serves only to keep us from experiencing the reality of our lives; or simply put - to live an unauthentic life. that we age is a fact of life, how we age is our choice.
often that choice creates a "crisis" for us, the proverbial "mid-life crisis". interestingly, the "mid-life crisis" is generally not a singular experience that happens at the point we become "middle aged". in truth we experience many so-called mid-life experiences of varying intensities and durations. more importantly we can experience them at any given time in our lives. it is not uncommon for someone to go through such a crisis at 35 or 30 or even at 25 years old. if we understand that the "crisis" is not age-dependent but is part of the normal process of aging for self-reflective beings such as we are, we will not be so surprised that even teenagers can and do experience a "mid-life crisis".
essentially, a "mid-life crisis" is a moment in time that we become intensely aware that we are changing, and that change is turning our world in different directions, perhaps even spinning our world so fast we are temporarily dis-oriented. it is natural at such times to become fearful, the earth is quaking under our feet and we are shaken to our core. we question where we are going, we fear the loss of the security we once knew, we wonder what will become of us, we cry "why can't things stay as they are" or "why can't things change faster" - depending on where we are standing at that moment in the "crisis". the important thing to remember is that its a good thing to ask questions, to look at oneself and to evaluate one's priorities and dreams and actions. it's even ok to be afraid, that's normal, we wouldn't be human if we didn't experience fear in the face of mystery.
however, if fear gets the upper hand, if fear causes us to become paralyzed or withdrawn or sends us into flights of escapism (such as binge drinking, promiscuity, or any number of unhealthy avenues that divert us from the life affirming self-reflective process that we label "crisis") then we need help with our crisis. honestly even if the crisis is not manifested in extreme fear, we often need help to pass through this dark valley. it's the reason many naturally turn to God in prayer for guidance and comfort. it's the reason many seek out a friend or loved one to talk with and share feelings. it's the reason some recognize that they need to talk with their religious leader or a counselor or a spiritual director to help them navigate their feelings and thoughts.
yet if fear has gotten the upper hand that need for help is magnified. sometimes the ability to reach out for help becomes more difficult because unbridled fear is shutting down the natural process of the "crisis". if you are caught in such a state - do not despair, there are bound to be moments of clarity, (perhaps reading this little essay is serving you right now as a chance to see beyond), seize that moment and reach out for help now. God really does care about you, and there are people, even strangers who care too. reach out, call a hotline, call your doctor, go speak to a pastor, pray to God for the strength to love yourself (even if you don't believe in God), just make use of this moment of clarity to move away from fear and into life. no matter how old we are or what changes we are going through life is worth living. if you have a friend or family member whom you recognize is in such a stagnant place, be strong and reach out to him or her, and maybe if necessary reach out for him or her.
remembering that growing older is the natural flow of life, and "crisis" is an on-going reflection on the process, helps us to move on in sane and healthy ways. in surrendering one moment we are caught up in the next moment; living is a continuum of paradoxes. a wise man once wrote - "it is in giving we receive, in forgiving that we are forgiven, and in dying that we are born to new life". and so it is that the joy of living is found in acceptance of growing older and in our full participation in the dynamic process of life.
© 2010 halley low
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