what i feel is not who i am

as human beings we are subject to a vast array of feelings. often our feelings are not completely under our conscious control. at one moment i may be perfectly happy as i am walking down the street in the bright sunlight. then suddenly that feeling may give way to a somber moment, and i may sink down into sadness. a moment later i may realize that i was just feeling happy as a lark and wonder to myself "why am i sad now".

feelings are like a compass, pointing us to what's going on inside us. feelings aren't good or bad in a moral sense, but they are subject to change, often without apparent cause or reason, and that is, for the most part, perfectly normal. if we are willing to ponder a little deeper usually we can gain understanding for the shift in mood. other times it may remain a mystery, and we might decide to consciously change gears to a more upbeat emotion (if possible), or allow the flood of negative feeling to wash over and take us to a place we need to be in that moment.

what's really important is to try to remember that whatever one is feeling at any given point in time is just that -- what you are feeling, and is not the defining factor of who you are. just because you are feeling bad doesn't make you bad anymore then feeling good makes you good. they are all just feelings, they have a purpose, or at least a cause, which the feeling itself may be trying to get one in touch with.

whatever the case, to borrow a popular line from the 12 step programs, "feelings aren't facts". that is a really important point to remember, because sometimes when we confuse our feelings for facts we can get really messed up thinking our feelings are who we are. feelings come and go, they can change as often, and suddenly, as some adolescent girls change their hairstyles. who we really are, on the deepest and truest level, never changes. because at the core we are all human beings equal to one another in dignity, and that is because the core of our being rests in the fact that we are all children of the one and same God. that is the fact of our existence. our feelings open us to exploring the fact of who we are, and experiencing the full range of expression that is real life, but our feelings don't define who we are.

sometimes when we are feeling "down" we might start putting ourselves "down", remembering who we really are can put things back in proper perspective. likewise, if we are caught up in very "high" feelings we may get a bit "puffed up", and again remembering the fact of who we really are can help us come down off our "high horse". feelings are an important way of getting in touch with where we are at and where we are going. however, they should never be allowed to dictate our sense of worth, because our worth is rooted in the fact of who we are, not what we feel. separating fact from feeling is a useful way to saner and more truthful living.